This describes how I feel many days:
Is not life on earth a drudgery, its days like those of a hireling? Like a slave who longs for the shade, a hireling who waits for wages, So I have been assigned months of futility, and troubled nights have been counted off for me. When I lie down I say, “When shall I arise?” then the night drags on; I am filled with restlessness until the dawn.
When I read Job, I often feel like Job is a whiner and complainer. And so when I read this, I have to reflect that I am often a whiner and complainer too. In the Bible, one of Job’s friends reminds him:
Still, if you yourself have recourse to God and make supplication to the Almighty, Should you be blameless and upright, surely now he will rouse himself for you and restore your rightful home. Though your beginning was small, your future will flourish indeed.
Inquire of the former generations, pay attention to the experience of their ancestors—As we are but of yesterday and have no knowledge, because our days on earth are but a shadow—Will they not teach you and tell you and utter their words of understanding? Can the papyrus grow up without mire? Can the reed grass flourish without water? While it is yet green and uncut, it withers quicker than any grass.
So is the end of everyone who forgets God, and so shall the hope of the godless perish.
And later another friend tells him:
If you set your heart aright and stretch out your hands toward him, If iniquity is in your hand, remove it, and do not let injustice dwell in your tent, Surely then you may lift up your face in innocence; you may stand firm and unafraid. For then you shall forget your misery, like water that has ebbed away you shall regard it. Then your life shall be brighter than the noonday; its gloom shall become like the morning, And you shall be secure, because there is hope; you shall look round you and lie down in safety; you shall lie down and no one will disturb you.
As usual the Bible tells me just what I need to hear. Make supplication to God. Set your heart aright and stretch out your arms to Him.
So I sit on the porch, with the Bible on my lap, my arms stretched out to God. I feel the morning sun’s light on my face and the warmth surrounds me. And I breathe. In and out. Slow and deep. And I admit my weakness — and I hand my complaining spirit over to God.
Lord, Set my heart aright. Remove the inequity and injustice from my hand and heart. Help me not to compare myself to others. Help me to reach out to others, all others, with your love. Thank you for the friends you send me who help remind me of your goodness and your love. Help me to be that friend to others. Help me to change the drudgery of the day into the newness and brightness of the morning sun. Your goodness surrounds me.