Jesus Wept

Jesus wept. The shortest verse in the bible, but oh so powerful. Jesus wept at the death of his friend Lazarus, even though he knew he would resurrect him.

Tonight, I weep for the loss of my friend. I weep for myself and the loss I feel. I weep for her family, her husband and young children. I weep for her friends. I weep because the world has lost a unique individual who cannot be replaced. I weep.

But I also pray. I pray for her resurrection into eternal life and rest. I pray for God’s love and comfort to surround her and her family and friends. I pray for wisdom and understanding. I pray.

And I feel. I feel Jesus weeping with me. I feel comfort in knowing that he knows my sorrow. I feel the loving shepherd swooping me up, like the lost sheep, into His arms. I feel.

Lord,

I know we do not know the hour and our time on earth is short. It is hard to lose someone so young, but I have hope in the Resurrection. I weep. But I know you weep with me. Take Megan into your loving arms. Hold her family close. Protect them from harm. Grant them the wisdom and the grace that they will need.

And Lord, help me to gird my loins so that I am ready when you call. Help me to be ready at each watch of the night. Help me to know your path and not my own. Father, may your will be done and may I glorify you in all that I do.

Thank you for sharing Megan with us. Though I wish I had more time, I am grateful for the time we shared. I trust in You and I rejoice in the Hope of eternal life.

Be The Light You Are Called To Be

The world is dark. It is so easy to become enveloped in the darkness, to close our eyes to it, to pull our covers around us, to blame others for the darkness and to wait for someone else to bring us light.

But Jesus told us:

You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father.

Matthew 5:14-16

We are not called to hide in the darkness. We are not called to wait for someone else to shine a light. We are called to be the light. We are called to light the path for others. We are called to glorify God through our light.

It is easy to blame others. It is easy to give up and shelter in place. It is easy to think, what can I do. My light is not big enough. My light is not bright enough. My light is not strong enough. All of this is easy if we think that we have to provide the light. If we are so braggadocious to think it is all about us and our light, our strength and our brilliance. Of course, we do not create light, which is why it is easy for us to sit in the darkness. We are the light of the world when we follow Jesus.

Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 8:12

We do not have to create the light. Whoever follows Jesus will have the light. But we cannot hide under a bushel basket. We cannot hide under the covers. We cannot expect someone else to shine the light. We have to stand up. We have to open our eyes. We have to open our arms and our hearts and stretch out wide so that we are big and strong and the light of Christ can shine though us, and reflect off every inch of us. Light one candle in a dark room and witness what one candle can do (even a very small one). Walk outside on a full moon night. Like us the moon does not create its own light but it is a powerful reflection of the sun. (We too can be a powerful reflection of the Son). On a clear night, when the moon is not hiding behind clouds, it provides enormous light. You can walk without need for a flashlight. It shines light into our homes if our shades are up and we let it in. Our light, our reflection of Jesus’ love can shine into the hearts of others who are open to letting it in.

Arise! Shine, for your light has come, the glory of the LORD has dawned upon you. Though darkness covers the earth, and thick clouds, the peoples, Upon you the LORD will dawn, and over you his glory will be seen. Nations shall walk by your light, kings by the radiance of your dawning.

Isaiah 60:1-3

It is easy to bemoan the darkness around us. It is easy to bemoan the evil. It is easy to bemoan the generation of nonbelievers and the empty pews at church. It is easy to ask why isn’t someone doing something about this.

Do something. Be the light. Follow Jesus. Fill your heart, your soul and your spirit with the love of Jesus. And don’t hide it. Let the world see your love. Let the world see your strength to stand up and follow Jesus. Let the world see your brilliance.

Jesus,

I want to follow you in my words and deeds. I want to be filled with your light. Help me to pull the covers off, to open my eyes in the face of darkness, to stand proud in your light. I want your light to shine through me. I want to reflect your love and your brilliance to others. I want my life to be spent glorifying God through my words and deeds. Help me.

Don’t Return That Gift

Christmas is over. Holiday cheer is gone and we are now fighting in the stores to return those gifts that weren’t exactly what we wanted. The sweater that “didn’t fit”, the gift we did not even take out of the package because we didn’t know what to do with it, the puzzle that was too hard. And all of the other “well-meaning” gifts that we didn’t think we wanted or needed.

As we focus on the material gifts and whether they fit our wants and needs, what are we doing with the true gift? Have we taken the time to even open it? Have we taken it out of the package? Have we read the instructions? Have we tried what seems hard? Did we decide it didn’t fit without attempting to try it on? Did we decide we didn’t need it or want it because it was too hard to understand?

We know what the true meaning of Christmas is, but did we accept the gift? Or did we put it on a shelf or away in a box til next year?

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.

John 3:16

This is the greatest gift. This is the gift we are reminded of every Christmas. And yet we spend too much time ignoring it, ignoring Him. Perhaps, without even meaning to, we reject the gift. It takes more time than a video game or an air fryer to fully understand. We can’t just press a button to make it work. We need to take the time to read the instructions, read the scriptures, read God’s word. We need to take time to be in His presence. We need to put the work in to believe, to have faith, to fully embrace the gift that we have been given. We may not think it is what we want or what we need, but it is. God is what we want. He is what we need. He is what we are longing for. His love can and should be returned (in kind) and regifted, but first we must accept it.

Lord,

Thank you! Thank you for the greatest gift that we could ever ask for. Thank you for sending your son to us, for suffering for us, when we turned away. As we start the new year, help me to accept your gift with open arms. Help me to take the time to read your word, to listen, to be present with you. Help me to keep Christmas in my heart throughout the year and to not reject or ignore the gift that you have given. And help me to regift and return that gift in kind to others so that they too may feel and experience the greatest gift of all.

rest

One of my favorite bible verses is Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

I could use rest. Rest from work. Rest from the daily grind. Rest from worry. Rest from disgruntlement. Rest from the negativity. Rest from the politics. Rest from a world that publicly appears to rebuke God and the rest and the peace that He provides, and wallows in worry, disgruntlement, negativity and politics.

My prayer most mornings is Lord, I place my worries and the work ahead of me on you. I give it over to you. I trust you to see me through it. And it is amazing how freeing it is and the immediate rest that I receive. But then I pick back up my own yoke and return to the daily grind and the feeling of rest is quickly swept away.

I miss the second part — to take up Jesus’ yoke and learn from Him.

Hmmm. Take up Jesus’ yoke? He was ridiculed, stripped, whipped and crucified with nails driven through his flesh. That does not seem easier than my typical daily grind. Yet, even knowing that, He says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. How is that possible?! Our burdens on earth do not compare to what Jesus endured for us. They do not compare to what his mother endured watching this occur to her son and savior. Even the heaviest burden on earth is light if we are meek and humble of heart and place our trust in God. In other words, we are called to put aside anger and frustration and disgruntlement and worry. We are called to patient and hopeful endurance of undesirable circumstances, to be humble in knowing that God knows better than us. We are not as powerful or as knowledgeable as God and when we lean on Him, when we follow Him, the yoke (even though it may seem hard in earthly terms) is easy and the burden is light because God is lifting it for us.

There is nothing on earth as important as God. Nothing with which we burden ourselves is worthy of the worry and strain that we put into it. When we put our focus and our energy into connecting with God, humbling ourselves to accept God’s glory and turn to Him for help, our burden is truly light. And we discover a peace that we cannot otherwise find despite our best dedication, our hardest work, our late-night hours. No accomplishment or reward on earth is worthy of the one we are truly seeking in heaven.

Lord, I place my worries and the work ahead of me on you. I give it over to you. I trust you to see me through it. Help me to be meek and humble. Help me to be patient and place my hope and trust in you even when I have to endure undesirable circumstances. Help me to keep my focus on you and on the only reward I truly seek which is eternal life with you. Lord, give me the rest and peace that comes from knowing you and following you.

The Faithful Cry

Have you ever cried out to God?  Have you ever cried out when the world is telling you not to?  When the world is telling you literally and figuratively to shut up?

Today in the gospel Bartimaeus cries out to Jesus.  The world and even the followers of Jesus rebuke him and tell him to shut up.  But he continues to cry out. 

And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a sizable crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus, sat by the roadside begging. On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.” And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he kept calling out all the more, “Son of David, have pity on me.” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take courage; get up, he is calling you.” He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus. Jesus said to him in reply, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man replied to him, “Master, I want to see.” Jesus told him, “Go your way; your faith has saved you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way.

Mark: 10:46-52

The world continues to tell us to shut up.  Don’t talk about religion lest you offend someone else.  Don’t talk about God lest you be told to shut up, or receive looks or are rebuked.  As a society we have allowed the rebukes to silence us. Sometimes we keep religion separate, on the side, an after-thought, something we think about on Sundays. We hide our faith and our love of God, lest we be judged on earth.

Bartimaeus persisted.  Although he was blind he knew that Jesus was all that he needed.  Jesus was more important than what others in the world thought.  I have also been blind.  I go through life often blinded by the world around me. I go to church. I read the bible. I say some prayers, but do I see? I cry out in the quiet of my heart, when I have time, when I get around to it, when the world is not otherwise distracting me or silencing me. But, do I hear? Do I listen? My cry is so quiet, that even I don’t always hear it. (But God does.)

Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.

Jesus, son of David, have pity on me!

JESUS, SON OF DAVID, HAVE PITY ON ME!

Open my eyes so that I see you. Open my eyes so that I see you in others. Open my eyes so I can focus on what matters and what you call me to be, not what the world is shouting around me. Open my ears and my heart, so that I may hear you… and follow.

An Eclipse of the Heart

April 8, 2024. A total eclipse. The news has been reporting on this, hyping it, for over a year and constantly for the last week. People are traveling miles to witness it. It is all anyone is talking about.

All that is going through my head is Psalm 19:

The heavens declare the glory of God; the firmament proclaims the works of his hands. Day unto day pours forth speech; night unto night whispers knowledge. There is no speech, no words; their voice is not heard; A report goes forth through all the earth, their messages, to the ends of the world. He has pitched in them a tent for the sun; it comes forth like a bridegroom from his canopy, and like a hero joyfully runs its course. From one end of the heavens it comes forth; its course runs through to the other; nothing escapes its heat.

Psalm 19:2-7

Many will spend hours today to witness the eclipse. They will travel for miles, wait in crowded fields, and curse at the traffic afterwards. But even with their glasses on, will they really see? Will they witness the glory of God? Will they experience the bridegroom or feel the heat from God’s love? Every day the sun comes up and we take it for granted. God’s truth is poured out all around us, but we do not stop and take the time to hear and to listen. We cannot escape the shining light that He provides, His warmth or His love, despite how much we may try. Today’s eclipse is marvelous and will inspire awe. But everyday is just as marvelous. No matter the darkness of night or the darkness of any storm, the sun always returns to light our way, to warm our hearts. Each spring the deadness of winter is replaced with the beauty of rebirth, green grasses, blue skies, and yellow, red, orange and purple flowers. God’s love and miracles surround us. Every. Single. Day. The Psalm goes on to state:

The law of the LORD is perfect, refreshing the soul. The decree of the LORD is trustworthy, giving wisdom to the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart. The command of the LORD is clear, enlightening the eye. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The statutes of the LORD are true, all of them just; More desirable than gold, than a hoard of purest gold, Sweeter also than honey or drippings from the comb. By them your servant is warned; obeying them brings much reward.

Psalm 19:8-12

As we look to the heavens today, I pray that we experience the wonder and awe of our Awesome God. May our souls be refreshed, may our hearts rejoice, and may our eyes be enlightened! May we be in pure awe and know that our God is a might God. Lord, help us to hear… and listen.

The Love Story

For three days, I have felt called to write. And for three days, I have busied myself in matters of the world instead. Three long days.

At one point, I almost started to write about being lost… but then I got further lost in the world.

Today, I promised God that I would write, but the day once again got busy. And as I was climbing into bed, I felt the nudge once more. And, so… I gave in… a little begrudgingly, as I am tired and it is nearing midnight. I opened the Bible, as I used to do more regularly than as of late. I opened it to a random page and this is what I saw:

“I love you, says the LORD.”

Malachi 1:2

Mic Drop! I am without words. Speechless. And breathless.

What a perfect end to a long day. What a perfect end to a long week. What a perfect start to Lent. And with three little words, I no longer feel lost. And the start of Lent on Valentine’s Day this year makes so much sense. How perfect that God’s love story should start with a heart and a cross. Our ashes, our shame, our regret and His love.

God, Thank you for calling me back. Thank you for reminding me of your love. I hear you. I see you. I feel you. I want to do better. You are amazing and wonderful. I want to serve you and only you. I am lost when I turn to the world. I am found when I turn to you. You are all I need. I want to praise you and honor you. I am in awe of you and I fear ever being away from you. Help me to offer my gifts and my sacrifice with my whole heart. Help me to serve as you want me to serve. I want to be part of your love story.

Father, Forgive Me

Holy Saturday. My contemplative day. The day of limbo. The day of reflection, of sadness. The world has just finished murdering Jesus. He has not yet risen. The day that he is absent from the world because of the world. The day I wonder whether He is absent from me because of me.

It is easy to read the story of the crucifixion and blame those involved. How could Judas who walked with Jesus betray him? How could Pontius Pilate, who knew it was wrong, allow it to happen? How could Peter, who Jesus chose to build His church upon, who had followed Jesus for three years, deny Him? How could the people choose a murderer over Jesus? How could the soldiers and people along the way mock Him and chant things like: “he saved others; he cannot save himself.” “Let him come down from the cross now and we will believe in him.” “He trusted in God; let him deliver him now if he wants him.”

I used to look down on all of these folks. I would surely do better. I would not be so stupid. And yet the story of the crucifixion is the story of all of our sins.

Judas knew Jesus for three years, I have known Him my whole life. And yet, I too choose silver, screens, and other earthly “treasures” over Jesus at times (more times than I would like to admit). I too provide lip service at times, providing a kiss in public, but betraying Jesus behind closed doors.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

Pilate knew that crucifying Jesus was wrong, but he didn’t want to get involved. He didn’t want to go against the crowd. If I had the power to save Jesus from the pain and torture, would I have? I would like to think so, and yet my sin contributes to His pain. I, too, have followed the crowd. I have decided not to get involved when I knew wrong was occurring, because it was easier for me.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

What I wouldn’t give to be Peter. To be able to sit with Jesus, talk with Jesus, learn from Jesus, embrace Jesus. He had it all! And yet he denied Him three times. I always blame Peter the most. Maybe that is why I sometimes struggle with the Church, with the priests and bishops, who have it all and still seem to turn so far away. Surely, I will not deny Jesus. Though others may have their faith shaken, mine will never be… And yet… it is. Peter had three years. I have had my entire life. Peter may have been with Jesus in the flesh. But I have weekly and daily communion available to me. Peter did not know or understand the resurrection. I know about the resurrection. I know the Truth. I can read the written gospels and have the benefit of two thousand years of church teaching. Why do I still deny? Why do I still hide my faith? Peter was afraid. Despite all that I know, I too am sometimes afraid, even though Jesus tells me not to be. Even though I know everything on earth is temporary, even though I know that if I have faith, I have nothing to fear.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

I am no different from the villains in Jesus’ story. I have betrayed Him, ignored Him, denied Him and turned my back on Him. I have mocked or doubted and I have been afraid. I may not physically nail Him to a cross, but my sins are just as painful. My rejection of His love is just as hurtful as those mocking him on the road. Father, forgive me!

I know it is easy to be remorseful as we are painfully reminded of the Lord’s crucifixion on Good Friday and as we sit today and are assured of the resurrection tomorrow.

Lord, help my heart and mind and spirit be resurrected this Easter. I want to always turn to you. Help me turn away from silver and the fake “treasures” that this world tries to offer. Help me to be strong in my faith. Help me not be turned by the will of the crowd. Help me to lead, not to follow. Help me to share your love and your word. As I look around, I see a world that is run by fear. I know that when I am focused on you, I have no fear. When my faith is strong, I have no fear. Lord, I know that in your hands, I am safe. I know that safe does not mean free from suffering, but that there is a resurrection promised. Lord, give me the strength and faith that I need. I do not want to turn away any more. I don’t want to contribute any further nails, I don’t want to be distracted by silver, I don’t want to live by fear and have my faith shaken. I know that I cannot promise, like Peter tried, that my faith won’t be shaken. I know that I am not strong enough to overcome fear on my own. And I know that I am a sinner and will continue to cause you pain. But I know that Your love is stronger than all things, including nails, silver and fear. Help me Father to always turn to you, to always return to you. Help me to remember you passion for me every day not just during the Easter season. Help me to follow you and not the crowd. Help me to love, as you do. Forgive me when I fail.

Old vs. New

I struggle with the Old Testament.  It seems so different than the new.  So many rules, and anger and “fire and brimstone.”  Its different than the love that pours out of the New Testament.  I have questioned why God seems so different in the Old Testament as compared to the New.  Today I think I found an answer.

Today, the Bible opened to Galatians:

Before faith came, we were held in custody under law, confined for the faith that was to be revealed.  Consequently, the law was our disciplinarian for Christ, that we might be justified by faith.  But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a disciplinarian.  For through faith you are all children of God in Christ Jesus.  For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.  And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendant, heirs according to the promise.

I mean that as long as the heir is not of age, he is no different from a slave, although he is the owner of everything, but he is under the supervision of guardians and administrators until the date set by his father. In the same way we also, when we were not of age, were enslaved to the elemental powers of the world.  But when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to ransom those under the law, so that we might receive adoption.  As proof that you are children, God sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!”  So you are no longer a slave but a child, and if a child then also an heir, through God.

Galatians 3:23-29; 4:1-7

Initially humans were like infants.  We needed rules and discipline.  We were not able to understand or have faith — so we had to be told what to do.   We needed supervision and guidance.  We were “enslaved to the elemental powers of the world.”  God knew what we needed.  He had a plan.  And when the world was ready, He sent His Son, so that we might have faith, see faith in action, believe and know God.  He “sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts.”  That one is powerful:

“God sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts”

We were ready to no longer be slaves to rules without understanding.  We were ready to live by faith, so we could know God.  God sent us Jesus so we could know Him, so we could have faith.  With faith — we are no longer enslaved to the elemental powers of the world.  The world has nothing on us, on our faith.  How blessed we are to know God.  To live in the time of faith, instead of fear and wrath.  To know God’s love through His Son, Jesus.  To know the Truth.

Thank you Lord!  Thank you for creating us to know you.  Thank you for sacrificing yourself so that we might believe.  Thank you for saving me!  Please send your spirit into our hearts!