Conversion and penance

Conversion and penance are just as important today as they were in St. Paul’s time.  Tonight the Bible opened to Acts and Paul’s speech at his trial:

But now I am standing trial because of my hope in the promise made by God to our ancestors.  Our twelve tribes hope to attain to that promise as they fervently worship God day and night; and on account of this hope I am accused by Jews, O king.  Why is it thought unbelievable among you that God raises the dead?  I myself once thought that I had to do many things against the name of Jesus the Nazorean, and I did so in Jerusalem. I imprisoned many of the holy ones with the authorization I received from the chief priests, and when they were to be put to death I cast my vote against them.  Many times, in synagogue after synagogue, I punished them in an attempt to force them to blaspheme; I was so enraged against them that I pursued them even to foreign cities.

“On one such occasion I was traveling to Damascus with the authorization and commission of the chief priests.  At midday, along the way, O king, I saw a light from the sky, brighter than the sun, shining around me and my traveling companions.  We all fell to the ground and I heard a voice saying to me in Hebrew, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?  It is hard for you to kick against the goad.’  And I said, ‘Who are you, sir?’ And the Lord replied, ‘I am Jesus whom you are persecuting.  Get up now, and stand on your feet.  I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness of what you have seen [of me] and what you will be shown.  I shall deliver you from this people and from the Gentiles to whom I send you, to open their eyes that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may obtain forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been consecrated by faith in me.’

“And so, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.  On the contrary, first to those in Damascus and in Jerusalem and throughout the whole country of Judea, and then to the Gentiles, I preached the need to repent and turn to God, and to do works giving evidence of repentance.  That is why the Jews seized me [when I was] in the temple and tried to kill me.  But I have enjoyed God’s help to this very day, and so I stand here testifying to small and great alike, saying nothing different from what the prophets and Moses foretold, that the Messiah must suffer and that, as the first to rise from the dead, he would proclaim light both to our people and to the Gentiles.”

Acts 26:6-23

I am struck by how similar Paul’s story and the message he received from Jesus are to the revelation from Our Lady of Fatima 100 years ago.  The children at Fatima heard messages of conversion and penance and like Paul spread that message to others.  You can read more about that here: http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20000626_message-fatima_en.html

Paul saw the light, literally.  Since I was a child, I have been jealous of Paul because he was shown the light and heard Jesus.  (Of course, when I read about his time in prison and his persecution, I get less jealous and more grateful that I am not similarly challenged — and as soon as I type that I am struck by how weak I am.  Am I only willing to  see God if it is easy?  I hope I am stronger than that, but my initial reaction and thoughts seem to indicate otherwise.)

Dear God,

Open my eyes!  Provide me with your light and help me to share it with others.  Give me the strength to convert fully.

God, I am sorry for my sins.  I want to do penance — please show me how.  Help me to truly repent for the wrongs that I cause.  Help me to sin no more.

 

 

The blame game

Why is everything always someone else’s fault?  Why do we feel the need to blame someone else for any misfortune, or accident that occurs.  Why do we lash out at others, and even wage wars, over every slight or perceived slight or whenever things do not go our way.  I guess it is because we believe that everything should go our way.  That we are entitled to everything to be in accordance with our plans.  Perhaps, sometimes we forget about God’s plans.

I think this is what the Bible is telling me today:

On his arrival in Jerusalem, Rehoboam assembled the house of Judah and Benjamin—one hundred and eighty thousand elite warriors—to wage war against Israel and restore the kingdom to Rehoboam.  However, the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah, a man of God: Say to Rehoboam, son of Solomon, king of Judah, and to all the Israelites in Judah and Benjamin: “Thus says the LORD: You must not go out to war against your kinsmen. Return home, each of you, for it is I who have brought this about.” They obeyed the word of the LORD and turned back from going against Jeroboam.

2 Chronicles 11:1-4

Perhaps not everything that seems bad, is bad.  Perhaps rather than looking to blame and seek retribution, I can look for the bright side.  Because I have a feeling that in God’s world there is definitely a good side (I just  have to stop focusing on my plans).

Dear God,

Help me to be patient.  Help me to be open to changes to my plans and look to see your plan.

 

Prayer

Two things that make me uncomfortable are prayer and strangers.  I am not good with either.   Tonight the Bible reminds me to persevere with respect to both.

Persevere in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving; at the same time, pray for us, too, that God may open a door to us for the word, to speak of the mystery of Christ, for which I am in prison, that I may make it clear, as I must speak.  Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity.  Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one.

Colossians 4: 2-6

Prayer does not come easy to me.  But I feel like I am slowly learning.

God,

Please open the door to your word.  Make it clear for me and those around me.    Help me to make the most of opportunities with others.  Help me to reflect your word.

I believe!

Tonight the Bible opened very quickly to this.  I read the verses all around it, but my eyes kept coming back to this short but powerful verse:

For I am not ashamed of the gospel. It is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: for Jew first, and then Greek.  For in it is revealed the righteousness of God from faith to faith; as it is written, “The one who is righteous by faith will live.”

Romans 1:16-17

And all I can think in response is: I believe!

Sin is bad. Forgiveness is good.

Sometimes the Old Testament can feel fairly heavy and negative and a little bit scary.  But I like this one.

My child, if you have sinned, do so no more, and for your past sins pray to be forgiven.  Flee from sin as from a serpent that will bite you if you go near it; Its teeth, lion’s teeth, destroying human lives.  All lawlessness is like a two-edged sword; when it cuts, there is no healing.  Panic and pride wipe out wealth; so too the house of the proud is uprooted. Prayer from the lips of the poor is heard at once, and justice is quickly granted them. Whoever hates correction walks the sinner’s path, but whoever fears the Lord repents in his heart.

Sirach 21:1-6

“My child, if you have sinned, do so no more.”  What a great way to say it.  If you have (and of course who hasn’t)  just don’t do it again.  “And for your past sins pray to be forgiven.”  I feel the peace of being in a confessional.

And having spent the day dealing with the trouble created when someone cannot accept criticism and feedback, I appreciate the reminder that “whoever hates correction walks the sinner’s path.”  It is good to be humble and accept correction. We all can learn.  We all can do better.  And perhaps a little fear of the Lord is good, so we repent and accept the correction.  But I hope that I repent, not just out of fear but out of humbleness and our of love.

My God, I am sorry for my sins.  In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you, who I love above all things.  I firmly resolve, with your help and your grace to repent and to sin no more.

Joy and Peace (Again)

This is one of my favorite passages.  In fact, the Bible has opened here before, including most recently on March 25.  I thought about reopening to another page, since I have blogged on this passage before, but the words have once again drawn me in:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!  Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

“The peace of God that surpasses all understanding” — that’s what I want.  Just saying the word peace brings with it an exhale and I feel some stress drop out of my shoulders.  Peace.  Now think of that peace coming directly from God.  And try to wrap your head around the concept that God’s peace surpasses all understanding — we cannot even fathom the extent of the peace that God will share with us.  Peace — a full exhale and my arms drop as the tension leaves the back of my neck.  That is what I want.

And the great thing about this passage is that Paul wraps it up in a nice recipe or formula as to how to achieve it:

  1. Rejoice in the Lord always!  I have always taken this passage to mean that we should sing God’s praises, which seems easy enough.  God is indeed great and it is easy to sing His praises.  But as I read it more closely (and look up the definition of “rejoice”), I see that what it really says is “feel joy or great delight” in the Lord.  I like the idea of this  — step one is to feel joy or great delight in the Lord — but how do you make yourself feel that?  Hmmm.  Not so easy… or is it?  Stop.  And think. God is great.  God’s love for us is great and unconditional.  God can do anything and forgive anything and no matter what we have done, he calls us back to Him.  Feel joy and great delight in the Lord and Rejoice!  With hands in the air, head tilted back to the sky, Rejoice!
  2. Step two: Your kindness should be known to all.  Be kind to others.  Not always the easiest thing to do.  Reflect God’s love to others, share God’s love with others.  Be kind.  Do unto others…
  3. Make your requests known to God through prayer, petition and thanksgiving — and by doing so, let go of your anxiety, let go of your control or belief that you can control it — give it to God. On paper these steps seem so easy — but in reality they can seem quite hard.  It is easy enough to pray for something, or to ask God for something — but, that is not enough. God asks us to let go of it — and by doing so — have faith in Him that He will take care of it.

So to sum it up: Feel joy and great delight in God, share that joy with others and have faith in God to take care of everything else.   (Starting to feel a little stress about whether this is achievable — so I am going to go back to feeling joy and rejoicing in God  — and I will let God take care of the rest.)

(With hands up in the air and my head tilted back) I rejoice in you, O God.  I feel the joy that only you can provide.  Help me to share this joy with others.  Help me to release my stress and worries and anxieties to you.  Help me to let go.  Help me to trust and have faith.  Thank you God!

Do not throw this freedom away!

This is a short one — but a good one.  It strikes me right to the core:

At a time when you did not know God, you became slaves to things that by nature are not gods; but now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and destitute elemental powers? Do you want to be slaves to them all over again?

Galatians 4:8-9

There are so many weak and destitute elemental powers out there.  Drugs, sex, alcohol, money, power, TV, electronics, smartphones, social media, candy crush, greed…  The list goes on and on.  For me it is food (and maybe a little bit of candy crush).  We become slaves to so many things.  Things that do not help us, do not serve us.  God gives us freedom.  He does not require us to be slaves.  (maybe it would be easier if we were slaves to Him!)  God gives us freedom, freedom to choose, freedom to live,  freedom to truly love.  What a glorious gift!  We just need to use it!

I don’t know about you, but I am really good at saying I am going to do better, but not so good at having the strength to follow through.  As I am typing this, a young girl on The Voice (Ok, so TV is another of the weaker powers that pulls on me) is singing Martina McBride’s song “Do it Anyway” — I have never paid attention to the lyrics before, but they provide me with further inspiration tonight:

“God is great but sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway.”

No matter how many times I try and fail, I am going to keep trying anyway.

God, I do not want to be slave to the weaker elemental powers any more!  They do not serve me.

Thank you, God, for the power to choose!  I choose you.  Help me be strong enough to turn away from all of the weak powers out there.  With your help I can be stronger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Healing prayers

Today, I learned that a friend was in need of prayers and healing.  I felt helpless to offer any words of comfort.  My mind quickly turned to prayer and I asked God to provide her with healing and comfort, but outwardly I was unable to offer the encouragement and comfort that she needed.  I wanted to do so much more.

Tonight the Bible opened here:

At once [Jesus] spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”  Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.  But when he saw how [strong] the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”  After they got into the boat, the wind died down.  Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”

After making the crossing, they came to land at Gennesaret. When the men of that place recognized him, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought to him all those who were sick and begged him that they might touch only the tassel on his cloak, and as many as touched it were healed.

Matthew 14: 27-36

I have faith that my friend will be healed.  I believe God has great plans for her.  I am certain of it.  Indeed it was her faith, and kindness and love that brought me back to the church and to God in a much more meaningful way.

Tonight I pray that she knows that Jesus is holding his hand out to her.  He is holding her and will get her through the temporary struggles that she is facing.

Dear Lord,

Please help all those who are struggling with health issues.  Give them the faith and courage to know that you are there, that they are safe, and that all of these struggles are temporary.

Thank you for sending my friend to me.  She has been such a reflection of you in my life, help me to be that to her.  Help her to know how loved she is.  Please heal her body and strengthen her spirit.

Here I am

How do you know when God is speaking to you?  I think about this often.  Is it my thought and desire or is it God’s?

Today the Bible opened to Samuel:

The LORD called to Samuel, who answered, “Here I am.”  He ran to Eli and said, “Here I am. You called me.” “I did not call you,” Eli answered. “Go back to sleep.” So he went back to sleep.  Again the LORD called Samuel, who rose and went to Eli. “Here I am,” he said. “You called me.” But he answered, “I did not call you, my son. Go back to sleep.”

Samuel did not yet recognize the LORD, since the word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.  The LORD called Samuel again, for the third time. Getting up and going to Eli, he said, “Here I am. You called me.” Then Eli understood that the LORD was calling the youth.  So he said to Samuel, “Go to sleep, and if you are called, reply, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’” When Samuel went to sleep in his place, the LORD came and stood there, calling out as before: Samuel, Samuel! Samuel answered, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3:4-10

Samuel was sleeping when God first called him.  In other words, he was quiet.  He was still.  In today’s world, I find it hard to hear God — there is so much other noise and distraction.  Finding time to be quiet and to listen is a challenge.  I am sure God is speaking and we are missing it.

Here I am, Lord!

Your servant is listening.  Help me to take time to be quiet, to be still.  Help me to listen.   I want to hear.  I want to follow.  I want to serve.

Forgiveness first

Tonight the Bible opened to Matthew:

He entered a boat, made the crossing, and came into his own town. And there people brought to him a paralytic lying on a stretcher. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Courage, child, your sins are forgiven.”  At that, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.”  Jesus knew what they were thinking, and said, “Why do you harbor evil thoughts? Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic, “Rise, pick up your stretcher, and go home.”  He rose and went home. When the crowds saw this they were struck with awe and glorified God who had given such authority to human beings.

Matthew 9:1-8

Jesus offered forgiveness first.  When I first read this passage I wondered why Jesus didn’t heal first.  I had to read it a couple of times before I realized He did heal first.  He healed the paralytic’s soul first.  As always God knows best.

Lord,

You know all things and know what I need. Heal me, Lord. Forgive me.  Help me to forgive others.