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How long, O Lord, must we cry for help?

It has been awhile since I have taken the time to open the Bible, to sit with the Lord’s word and let it wash over me. Today, I opened the Bible to the Book of Habakkuk, in which the prophet cries out:

How long, O LORD, must I cry for help and you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” and you do not intervene? Why do you let me see iniquity? why do you simply gaze at evil? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife and discord. This is why the law is numb and justice never comes, For the wicked surround the just; this is why justice comes forth perverted.

Habakkuk 1:1-4

I am sure many of us have felt the same way many times in our lives. It is hard not to cry out now as we see what is occurring in Ukraine and in our own streets. It is hard not to cry out now when we see politicians and others encouraging the destruction of what God has created — human life in all forms and biologically distinct man and woman.

God’s response is clear. We cannot expect to understand His ways, but He always has a plan for our good:

Look over the nations and see! Be utterly amazed! For a work is being done in your days that you would not believe, were it told.

Habakkuk 1:5

In Habakkuk’s time, the Chaldeans/Babylonians were set to destroy Jerusalem. The prophet surmises that this will occur as punishment because God’s people had turned away. They had forgotten and abandoned His law. (Hmmm… sound familiar?) The people were numb to the law because it was not bringing them immediate reward on earth. The world was not enforcing the law on earth and so they saw no justice or reason to follow.

God reminds them:

Write down the vision; Make it plain upon tablets, so that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is a witness for the appointed time, a testimony to the end; it will not disappoint. If it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late. See, the rash have no integrity; but the just one who is righteous because of faith shall live.

Habakkuk 2:2-4

God calls us to have faith. To be patient. To wait. To not turn away from Him for the passions of the world, for the cancelations of the world, or for the need for immediate gratification. By our faith, we shall live. If we are rash, if we demand what we want (or think we want) and don’t have faith that the Lord will provide what we need, neither we nor our feigned relationship with God will have any integrity. God is not a sugar daddy. He calls us to a real relationship. He calls us to a relationship that will utterly amaze us. That we would not believe even if He told us. He offers us a relationship of love and faith and trust. A relationship in which we listen to and heed His word, for He will be faithful, even when we turn away. But God will not give in to our momentary tantrums when we think things are not going our way. He will not try to appease us with things of this world, because He knows that that will not satisfy us and will not ultimately be for our good. He acts only out of love and for the love of us, even when He knows we may not yet understand or accept it. God is not like the parent who knows that giving in to a screaming child who wants to eat a whole bag of candy will ultimately result in stomach pain, but gives in so the child doesn’t hate the parent at that moment. God knows what will bring us ultimate happiness. And even though we may sometimes give in to our children, when we know we should not, God knows better and will continue to work for our ultimate good, even when we may cry out (or even lash out at Him) in the meantime.

God reminds us:

Woe to him who builds a town with blood, and founds a city on iniquity! Behold, is it not from the Lord of hosts that people labor only for fire, and nations weary themselves for nothing? For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.

Habakkuk 2: 12-14

God doesn’t call us to labor in vain. We weary ourselves when we act in the way of the world, instead of in the way of the Lord. As Jesus tells us many years later:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

It is easy to get distracted by the world around us. It is easy to become overcome by the tragedy, turmoil and chaos around us. God makes it easy, when we listen to Him. Wait for it. Wait for Him. He has a plan. Learn from Jesus. Follow Jesus — even when the world says otherwise.

Lord,

I have been distracted by the world around me and my own desires and plans. I have chosen to focus on this world instead of you. Help me to listen to your word. Help me to follow your will, to take up your yoke, rather than the heavy one that the world tries to place upon me. Help me not to be rash, but to have patience and faith in your plan. I know it is for my good, even though I don’t yet understand it.

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Worship, Follow, Share

Wise. Who doesn’t want to be wise? We look for wisdom on the internet, but rarely find it. At this time of year we hustle and bustle about to celebrate Christmas (often reduced to “holidays”) and neglect the three wise men right in front of us. We think of them only as gift bearers as we hurry about decorating, baking and shopping. This morning I was thinking about the gifts they brought to Jesus, gold, frankincense and myrrh, and then realized the three gifts of wisdom that they provide to us:

Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, Wise Men from the East came to Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the East, and have come to worship him.”

***

When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy; and going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then opening their treasures, the offered him gifts, gold, frankincense and myrrh. And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.

Matthew 2:1-2, 10-12

The wise men found great joy – what we all desire. They did not get trapped in what was going on around them. They did not get trapped in the ways of the world or the wishes of the kings of the day. They searched for God. And they found great joy. If we follow their example, we too will find that joy. They worshipped, followed and shared. Three things that each of us can do, wherever we are.

Worship! The wise men traveled from afar to worship Jesus. We sometimes struggle to find time on Sunday to worship God. They spent months traveling just to worship Him. We forget how important that is — to take time to praise Him, to wonder at his majesty, to sit in His glory. We worship sports heroes, political activists, movie stars — for what purpose? We worship social media likes, vacation spots and monetary wealth — to what end? God created all and is all. He is greater than everything and we (or I ) take that for granted. Imagine spending months journeying for one purpose — to worship Him.

Follow! We know the wise men followed the star. But what they were really following was God. They didn’t turn back, even when the journey was hard. They continued to search until they found Jesus. And then they listened and followed the Lord’s instructions about where to go from there. We follow things on social media, we follow trends and we follow politicians. Do we stop to listen to (and follow) God? His word is ever present in the Bible. His guidance is present in the silence of prayer that we often seek to avoid. Can we listen, open our eyes toward the light that He has set before us, and follow?

Share! Of course the wise men shared their treasure with Jesus. But more than that, the wise men did not keep their journey secret. They did not keep Jesus secret. They reached out to others along the way. And when they had met Jesus, they did not rest — their journey was not over. They went back to their country, presumably to share the joy that they had experienced. The world around us is trying to silence God. The wise men came from a world that did not know God. We need to share. We cannot keep the love and joy that comes from Jesus silent. Not during Christmas. Not ever.

Lord,

I seek wisdom, but more than anything I seek the joy of knowing you and being with you. Help me to journey as the wise men did. Help me to keep going even when the journey is hard or I get distracted. I want to worship you and you alone. I know that no one is greater and nothing is worth more than your love. Help me follow your word, your direction, your way (not my own). Help me to share your love with others so that they too can experience the joy that can only be found in you.

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Father, Forgive Me

Holy Saturday. My contemplative day. The day of limbo. The day of reflection, of sadness. The world has just finished murdering Jesus. He has not yet risen. The day that he is absent from the world because of the world. The day I wonder whether He is absent from me because of me.

It is easy to read the story of the crucifixion and blame those involved. How could Judas who walked with Jesus betray him? How could Pontius Pilate, who knew it was wrong, allow it to happen? How could Peter, who Jesus chose to build His church upon, who had followed Jesus for three years, deny Him? How could the people choose a murderer over Jesus? How could the soldiers and people along the way mock Him and chant things like: “he saved others; he cannot save himself.” “Let him come down from the cross now and we will believe in him.” “He trusted in God; let him deliver him now if he wants him.”

I used to look down on all of these folks. I would surely do better. I would not be so stupid. And yet the story of the crucifixion is the story of all of our sins.

Judas knew Jesus for three years, I have known Him my whole life. And yet, I too choose silver, screens, and other earthly “treasures” over Jesus at times (more times than I would like to admit). I too provide lip service at times, providing a kiss in public, but betraying Jesus behind closed doors.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

Pilate knew that crucifying Jesus was wrong, but he didn’t want to get involved. He didn’t want to go against the crowd. If I had the power to save Jesus from the pain and torture, would I have? I would like to think so, and yet my sin contributes to His pain. I, too, have followed the crowd. I have decided not to get involved when I knew wrong was occurring, because it was easier for me.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

What I wouldn’t give to be Peter. To be able to sit with Jesus, talk with Jesus, learn from Jesus, embrace Jesus. He had it all! And yet he denied Him three times. I always blame Peter the most. Maybe that is why I sometimes struggle with the Church, with the priests and bishops, who have it all and still seem to turn so far away. Surely, I will not deny Jesus. Though others may have their faith shaken, mine will never be… And yet… it is. Peter had three years. I have had my entire life. Peter may have been with Jesus in the flesh. But I have weekly and daily communion available to me. Peter did not know or understand the resurrection. I know about the resurrection. I know the Truth. I can read the written gospels and have the benefit of two thousand years of church teaching. Why do I still deny? Why do I still hide my faith? Peter was afraid. Despite all that I know, I too am sometimes afraid, even though Jesus tells me not to be. Even though I know everything on earth is temporary, even though I know that if I have faith, I have nothing to fear.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

I am no different from the villains in Jesus’ story. I have betrayed Him, ignored Him, denied Him and turned my back on Him. I have mocked or doubted and I have been afraid. I may not physically nail Him to a cross, but my sins are just as painful. My rejection of His love is just as hurtful as those mocking him on the road. Father, forgive me!

I know it is easy to be remorseful as we are painfully reminded of the Lord’s crucifixion on Good Friday and as we sit today and are assured of the resurrection tomorrow.

Lord, help my heart and mind and spirit be resurrected this Easter. I want to always turn to you. Help me turn away from silver and the fake “treasures” that this world tries to offer. Help me to be strong in my faith. Help me not be turned by the will of the crowd. Help me to lead, not to follow. Help me to share your love and your word. As I look around, I see a world that is run by fear. I know that when I am focused on you, I have no fear. When my faith is strong, I have no fear. Lord, I know that in your hands, I am safe. I know that safe does not mean free from suffering, but that there is a resurrection promised. Lord, give me the strength and faith that I need. I do not want to turn away any more. I don’t want to contribute any further nails, I don’t want to be distracted by silver, I don’t want to live by fear and have my faith shaken. I know that I cannot promise, like Peter tried, that my faith won’t be shaken. I know that I am not strong enough to overcome fear on my own. And I know that I am a sinner and will continue to cause you pain. But I know that Your love is stronger than all things, including nails, silver and fear. Help me Father to always turn to you, to always return to you. Help me to remember you passion for me every day not just during the Easter season. Help me to follow you and not the crowd. Help me to love, as you do. Forgive me when I fail.

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Come Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit! Come and do your will!  Renew the face of the earth! Come set our hearts afire!  Come Holy Spirit!

It is Pentecost.  The day we celebrate the gift (and gifts) of the Holy Spirit. What an amazing and blessed day.

Last night my church celebrated Pentecost with a beautiful vigil.  To the outside world it may not have seemed that way.  The attendance was low.  The music quit working not once, not twice, but multiple times.  The wind blew the candles out in the candle-light procession, not once, not twice, but multiple times.  Rain began to fall during the celebratory bonfire.  To the outside world, perhaps not a success.  But what the outside world didn’t know — what the outside world never fully appreciates — is the true beauty of God’s presence.  And God was there.  The Holy Spirit was there.  I felt His presence almost immediately.

For several weeks, I have been struggling because I felt disconnected from God.  The world had become too busy.  Human events had dominated my life.  I had tried, and failed, on several occasions to welcome God back in, but quickly became distracted again by what the world deems important.

Last night, when the man-made speakers failed, and the flames from the man-made candles blew out, I felt the presence of God.  I felt His Spirit fall upon us.  And it was good.

Today the Bible opened up to the last verse in Matthew:

The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them. When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted. Then Jesus approached and said to them, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:16-20

This passage tells me a few things, all of which reinforced my experience last night.  First, the apostles who had spent three years with Jesus, doubted, even when He stood right before them.  This is comforting.  Because I too have doubted.  I have felt disconnected.  I have felt lost.  I have doubted.  Even when God is right there in front of me.

Second, of course, is the commission by Jesus to all of us to go and make disciples of all nations.  His name, His love and His commandments are not something we can keep to ourselves.

And third, and the one that I could use a reminder of every day, is the last line of Matthew’s gospel: “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

Sometimes I can feel God’s presence in a powerful way.  I become overwhelmed and am often brought to tears.  Other times, particularly when I am distracted by the world, I miss that feeling.  But He is there.  Behold, He is with us always.

And like last night, when things seem to be going wrong, or not in line with what we as humans have planned, God shows us that His plan is better and can not be judged by human standards.  He is with us.  As a Father who loves us, as the Son who carries our burdens and as the Holy Spirit who guides us.  He is with us and He will love us, carry us and guide us when we least expect it and in ways the human world cannot fully understand.

Come Holy Spirit! Come and do your will!  Renew the face of the earth! Come set our hearts afire!  Come Holy Spirit!

 

 

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Love through the Hurt

We are hurt.  Everyday.  By friends.  By loved ones.  By politicians.  By priests and pastors.  By people that we put our trust in.  And likely, we hurt many of these same people.  Everyday.   We are human.  We err.  We make mistakes.  We are selfish.  We are prideful.  And … so is everyone else.

Today, the country is divided by walls not even built, by politicians and media.  I am not sure any of them know what is right.  Yet, we choose sides and are hurt by anyone who chooses differently.  We focus on issues and political parties rather than focusing on God.

Today, many are struggling in the Catholic Church over the abuse perpetrated by some priests and the cover up perpetrated by others.  The devil knows how to strike where it can do the most damage.  The Church is hurt by the people we put our trust in.

There is so much hurt in the world.  So much unforgiveness.

This week, Jesus placed two passages on my heart:

“Stop judging, that you may not be judged.  For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you.  Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye?  You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:1-5

We all sin.  Yet, we all think that we can judge.  I certainly can judge that there is evil in the world.  I certainly can judge that there is sin.  But can I judge another person?  Can I judge their struggle with evil?  Their struggle with sin?  Can my sin stand up to my own judgment?  I know it cannot.  I need God’s judgment and God’s grace and mercy.  Only God can truly know our heart and our struggles.  Only God can judge the person.  We can judge the sin and evil, and we should judge to stop and prevent.  But only God can judge the person.  We are called to love, even when we are hurt.  Because God loves us, even when we hurt him.

God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.  In this is love brought to perfection among us, that we have confidence on the day of judgment because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us.  If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. This is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4:16-21

We may not be able to stop others from hurting us.  We are human and so are they.  But we can stop the “hurt” from hurting us.  We can love.  We can hate the sin, hate the evil and work to stop and prevent it.  But we can love the person and leave it to God to judge their soul.

Jesus,

Thank you for showing me your love.  I am not worthy.  I am sorry for the times that I have hurt you.  I am sorry for the times I have turned away.  Help me to love others even when they hurt me.  Help me to bring your peace to the world.

 

 

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Why Worry?

I worry.  A lot.  I worry about being a good parent.  Being a good spouse.  Being a good business partner.  I worry about making enough money, maintaining job security, obtaining financial security.  I worry about my health, and my family’s health.  I worry about my son’s future and whether I have done enough to help place him on the right path.  I worry about my faith, my future and my relationship with God.

Tonight, I read Matthew chapter 6:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat [or drink], or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?   Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?  Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.  But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.   If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’  All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.  Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

Matthew 6:25-34

Do not worry about tomorrow.  That is a wonderful idea, isn’t it?  The Bible is filled with this idea.  But is it possible?  I struggle with this.   I want to be able to do this, but how?

This passage seems to provide an answer: Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.

We worry about things on earth — things the pagans seek.  Things that won’t matter in our eternal life.  God.  That is all we really need.  That is all we need to seek.  If we just focus on Him, what is there to worry about?  Oh, I want to seek you Lord!  I want to cast my worries aside and focus on you.

Our Father,

You are all powerful in heaven and on earth.  Hallowed be your name!  Let your Kingdom come.  I pray that your will be done on earth and that I let go and let you take control.   Give us this day our daily bread — and the acceptance to know that is all we need.  Help me not to worry about tomorrow’s bread and instead to just seek you.  Forgive me for the times I fail and the times I turn away from you.  And help me to forgive others who fail me.  Lead me away from temptation and when I stray, deliver me from evil, so that I may always return to you.

 

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Repent

Lent will be here in just a couple of weeks.  Today, the Bible opened to a short and simple statement from Jesus:

From that time on, Jesus began to preach and say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Matthew 4:17

Repent.  I have heard that word since I was a child.  Particularly during Lent.  Repent.  For the first time, I looked up its definition.  Here is what my quick internet search revealed:

  • to feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one’s wrongdoing or sin.
  • to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life
  • to feel regret or contrition
  • to change one’s mind
  • to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc.
  • to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one’s life for the better; be penitent.

To feel or express sincere regret or remorse.  So first, I need to feel and express regret and remorse.  The regret part comes pretty easy for me.  I have lots of regrets.  The part I can probably work on is the sincere remorse, which I think is a little more than just regret.  To be sincerely sorry for my sin.  To be sincere, I have to really think about it.  I generally don’t like to think back on the things I do wrong and instead I just lump them into general categories and try to move on.  I don’t want to think about the things I do wrong.  I don’t want to think about sin, and particularly not about my sin!  As a result when I do think about my sins (often just briefly) or prepare for confession, the same sins come back to mind.  Perhaps because I have not truly repented — have not thought about them enough to have true, sincere remorse — and as a result have not allowed myself to be freed from them.

The other definitions are even harder.  Repent: To turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.  To feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one’s life for the better.  Its not enough to feel sorry  or to feel regret.  To repent, we really need to think about our sin — we cannot hide from it.  We need to think about what we have done wrong, so that we can have sincere remorse.  Without sincere remorse, how can I truly dedicate myself to amend my life, to change my life for the better.

The kingdom of heaven is at hand.  It is time to repent.  Time to change our lives for the better.

Lord,

I am sincerely sorry for my sins.  Help me to dedicate myself to do better.