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What Journey Are You Planning?

Today’s gospel was one I struggle with. In fact, I read ahead while I was sitting in the pew and am fairly certain I let out an audible and heavy sigh as I read these words (which I know so well):

As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up, knelt down before him, and asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus answered him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; you shall not defraud; honor your father and your mother.’” He replied and said to him, “Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth.” Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him, “You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to [the] poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” At that statement his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

Mark 10:17-22

Every time I read this or hear it at mass, I feel like my face also falls. Does this mean I have to give up everything? EVERYTHING I have worked so hard for? EVERYTHING I enjoy on earth?

The priest at mass gave a beautiful homily, focusing on the journey rather than giving anything up. He asked if we were going on a journey, what three things would we bring and suggested that the three readings today suggest that we should bring wisdom, the word of God as our guidebook, and faith. At the end he asked, when we thought about going on a journey — where were we thinking of going? This struck me (because I really had not thought about it).

When we are planning a vacation, we plan for it, sometimes for months. We read guidebooks or google. We plan what to pack, where to stay, what to see. We put in the work, sacrifice and save (sometimes for months), to make sure the trip of a week or two weeks will be nice. We talk to our friends and family about it (sometimes ad nauseum). At the end of which, we have pictures, souvenirs and memories. Similarly, as we prepare for our retirement, we plan for it. We read books, google or even attend seminars on it. We plan what we will need for hopefully what will be years. We put in the work, sacrifice and save. We talk to our friends and family about it. We even have countdowns and parties to celebrate it. We spend months planning for vacation and years planning for retirement.

But where are we really going and what journey do we really want to be on? Are we as excited about eternal life in our Father’s house, as we are about our upcoming beach vacation or our retirement plan? Are we focused on it and planning for it? Are we putting in the work and willing to sacrifice some things now? Are we talking to our friends and family about it? Would we give up the vacation for it? Would we give up our possessions and the comforts in this world for it? Have we set our sights, our hopes and our focus on God and being with Him?

Personally, I know, it is easy for me to push it to the back of my mind, to put my focus on things on earth, rather than to focus on God, to focus on the week vacation now, rather than eternal life. It seems absolutely silly when I say it out loud. Is it just the distraction of the riches, the technologies, the everyday life, the social media around us? Is it the procrastinator in us, thinking we have time to plan for that later? Is it a lack of faith? Is it choosing this world over God? Or is it a lack of trust that the dream vacation (heaven) is real or really for me?

The Good News is even though we may ignore God, even though at times we may choose this world over Him, God is still waiting for us. He is still waiting to welcome us aboard. He still has a seat reserved for us and an itinerary planned. I know that the eternal life that Jesus has promised is there and I know that it is impossible for me to attain on my own, but that everything is possible for God. (And, yes, that requires me to give up the control I like to have — I cannot get in a car and drive there by whatever path I want on my time schedule). God is ready for me and ready to steer my ship. But … I don’t get to control the timing and God is not going to force us to plan a journey with Him. We have to choose that (and choose that before the ship departs the last time).

Lord,

I know I am still lacking. But I want to choose you over every possession on earth. I want to plan my eternal vacation and retirement with you! Help me to find the courage and faith to follow your plan and not my own. I want your trip tik, your itinerary, not my own. I don’t want to procrastinate any longer. I want to be loud and proud about the journey I am on. I want to put my focus and my efforts into your journey. Grant me the grace and patience that I need. My paradise, my treasure, is with you.

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The Faithful Cry

Have you ever cried out to God?  Have you ever cried out when the world is telling you not to?  When the world is telling you literally and figuratively to shut up?

Today in the gospel Bartimaeus cries out to Jesus.  The world and even the followers of Jesus rebuke him and tell him to shut up.  But he continues to cry out. 

And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a sizable crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus, sat by the roadside begging. On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.” And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he kept calling out all the more, “Son of David, have pity on me.” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take courage; get up, he is calling you.” He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus. Jesus said to him in reply, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man replied to him, “Master, I want to see.” Jesus told him, “Go your way; your faith has saved you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way.

Mark: 10:46-52

The world continues to tell us to shut up.  Don’t talk about religion lest you offend someone else.  Don’t talk about God lest you be told to shut up, or receive looks or are rebuked.  As a society we have allowed the rebukes to silence us. Sometimes we keep religion separate, on the side, an after-thought, something we think about on Sundays. We hide our faith and our love of God, lest we be judged on earth.

Bartimaeus persisted.  Although he was blind he knew that Jesus was all that he needed.  Jesus was more important than what others in the world thought.  I have also been blind.  I go through life often blinded by the world around me. I go to church. I read the bible. I say some prayers, but do I see? I cry out in the quiet of my heart, when I have time, when I get around to it, when the world is not otherwise distracting me or silencing me. But, do I hear? Do I listen? My cry is so quiet, that even I don’t always hear it. (But God does.)

Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.

Jesus, son of David, have pity on me!

JESUS, SON OF DAVID, HAVE PITY ON ME!

Open my eyes so that I see you. Open my eyes so that I see you in others. Open my eyes so I can focus on what matters and what you call me to be, not what the world is shouting around me. Open my ears and my heart, so that I may hear you… and follow.

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Father, Forgive Me

Holy Saturday. My contemplative day. The day of limbo. The day of reflection, of sadness. The world has just finished murdering Jesus. He has not yet risen. The day that he is absent from the world because of the world. The day I wonder whether He is absent from me because of me.

It is easy to read the story of the crucifixion and blame those involved. How could Judas who walked with Jesus betray him? How could Pontius Pilate, who knew it was wrong, allow it to happen? How could Peter, who Jesus chose to build His church upon, who had followed Jesus for three years, deny Him? How could the people choose a murderer over Jesus? How could the soldiers and people along the way mock Him and chant things like: “he saved others; he cannot save himself.” “Let him come down from the cross now and we will believe in him.” “He trusted in God; let him deliver him now if he wants him.”

I used to look down on all of these folks. I would surely do better. I would not be so stupid. And yet the story of the crucifixion is the story of all of our sins.

Judas knew Jesus for three years, I have known Him my whole life. And yet, I too choose silver, screens, and other earthly “treasures” over Jesus at times (more times than I would like to admit). I too provide lip service at times, providing a kiss in public, but betraying Jesus behind closed doors.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

Pilate knew that crucifying Jesus was wrong, but he didn’t want to get involved. He didn’t want to go against the crowd. If I had the power to save Jesus from the pain and torture, would I have? I would like to think so, and yet my sin contributes to His pain. I, too, have followed the crowd. I have decided not to get involved when I knew wrong was occurring, because it was easier for me.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

What I wouldn’t give to be Peter. To be able to sit with Jesus, talk with Jesus, learn from Jesus, embrace Jesus. He had it all! And yet he denied Him three times. I always blame Peter the most. Maybe that is why I sometimes struggle with the Church, with the priests and bishops, who have it all and still seem to turn so far away. Surely, I will not deny Jesus. Though others may have their faith shaken, mine will never be… And yet… it is. Peter had three years. I have had my entire life. Peter may have been with Jesus in the flesh. But I have weekly and daily communion available to me. Peter did not know or understand the resurrection. I know about the resurrection. I know the Truth. I can read the written gospels and have the benefit of two thousand years of church teaching. Why do I still deny? Why do I still hide my faith? Peter was afraid. Despite all that I know, I too am sometimes afraid, even though Jesus tells me not to be. Even though I know everything on earth is temporary, even though I know that if I have faith, I have nothing to fear.

Father, forgive me. I wish I could say I know not what I do, but sometimes I do and I do it anyway. Father, forgive me. I do not want a world without you. I do not want my life without you.

I am no different from the villains in Jesus’ story. I have betrayed Him, ignored Him, denied Him and turned my back on Him. I have mocked or doubted and I have been afraid. I may not physically nail Him to a cross, but my sins are just as painful. My rejection of His love is just as hurtful as those mocking him on the road. Father, forgive me!

I know it is easy to be remorseful as we are painfully reminded of the Lord’s crucifixion on Good Friday and as we sit today and are assured of the resurrection tomorrow.

Lord, help my heart and mind and spirit be resurrected this Easter. I want to always turn to you. Help me turn away from silver and the fake “treasures” that this world tries to offer. Help me to be strong in my faith. Help me not be turned by the will of the crowd. Help me to lead, not to follow. Help me to share your love and your word. As I look around, I see a world that is run by fear. I know that when I am focused on you, I have no fear. When my faith is strong, I have no fear. Lord, I know that in your hands, I am safe. I know that safe does not mean free from suffering, but that there is a resurrection promised. Lord, give me the strength and faith that I need. I do not want to turn away any more. I don’t want to contribute any further nails, I don’t want to be distracted by silver, I don’t want to live by fear and have my faith shaken. I know that I cannot promise, like Peter tried, that my faith won’t be shaken. I know that I am not strong enough to overcome fear on my own. And I know that I am a sinner and will continue to cause you pain. But I know that Your love is stronger than all things, including nails, silver and fear. Help me Father to always turn to you, to always return to you. Help me to remember you passion for me every day not just during the Easter season. Help me to follow you and not the crowd. Help me to love, as you do. Forgive me when I fail.

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A house divided: what side are you on?

A house divided cannot stand.  I have heard this saying many times.  But I am not sure I ever realized that it came from the Bible. Today as I read the Gospel reading, and then re-read it and re-read it again, I struggled to understand what Jesus was saying.

The scribes who had come from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by Beelzebul,”* and “By the prince of demons he drives out demons.”

Summoning them, he began to speak to them in parables, “How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand; that is the end of him. But no one can enter a strong man’s house to plunder his property unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can plunder his house.

Mark 3:22-27

We are a nation divided. Deeply divided. How can we stand?

Currently we do not stand. We do not stand together. We do not stand at all.  We cower behind social media.  We attack children who wear red hats and call them racists; we attack infants in their mothers’  wombs and call those who oppose it sexist.  We build walls that only divide us.  We oppose the death penalty for even our most heinous criminals but celebrate murder of our most innocent victims.  A house divided will not stand…  but are we standing now?

My first thought when I heard this passage, was a call to unity.  We must come together as a country, or we will fall.

But as I read the full passage, Jesus compares the kingdom and house to Satan.  At the end of the day, I am not sure it is necessarily about coming together as a country, although that would be a nice by-product.  It is about coming together as God’s people.  Kingdoms fall.  Houses fall.  These are human creations.  And when Satan gets a hold of them, Satan causes division.  Satan does not fight himself.  Satan will not drive himself out.  He will not go against himself.  Only God can defeat Satan.  Only God can drive him out.

But God gave us free will.  We can choose Satan.  We can choose division.  We can stay quiet and not stand.  We can choose not to oppose what we know to be wrong.  We can choose to take our fight to social media, instead of taking our plight to God.  We can be weak and allow Satan to plunder our house, plunder our country, because we are not strong enough, on our own, to stop him.  Or we can choose God.  God has the power to bind Satan.  God has the power to unite.  God and only God has the power to save, to destroy Satan, to destroy the division that Satan creates.  To heal our country.  But we have to choose.  God will not stop us from choosing Satan.  We have to choose.

I choose you God!  I am not strong enough to defeat Satan.  I am not strong enough to fix the division that permeates our country.  I need your help.  I want your help.  We are weak.  As a country, we are lost.  Guide us.  Lead us.  Show us your way.  Help our leaders find your way.  Help each of us, leader or not, seek you.  Help us come together united as your children. You are the Way, the Truth and the Life.  You are my Way, my Truth and my Life.   I reject Satan.  I choose you!

 

 

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Let me cling no more!

Oh.  Today the Bible opened and hit me right where I feel most vulnerable.  Jesus’ words expose my weakness.

So the Pharisees and scribes questioned him, “Why do your disciples not follow the tradition of the elders but instead eat a meal with unclean hands?”  He responded, “Well did Isaiah prophesy about you hypocrites, as it is written: ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me;  In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines human precepts.’  You disregard God’s commandment but cling to human tradition.”

Mark 7: 5-8

“You disregard God’s commandment but cling to human tradition.”  It is amazing that 2000 years later Jesus’ words are still spot on.  Very few things survive the test of time or maintain their relevancy.  But God’s words do.  I should be in awe by this — but in my head my response is “Of course God’s words are still good.”  And my second thought is, why haven’t we learned this by now.

Jesus has hit right on the head where many of my failings start and where I sometimes get lost — following human tradition, following human ways.  It is easier to see and follow human rule.  God’s rules are not so easy and there isn’t always the immediate response to know when we are on the right path.  As humans though we receive money and praise and facebook likes when we have done “good” under human standards.

Wouldn’t it be great if God could send us a thumbs up picture when we do good.  And a quick thumbs down when we do wrong — or even better a big thumbs down right before we do wrong.

But as I think about it…  He kind of does.  It just may not be that blatant.  But I feel the guilt.  It is just easier to ignore.  Particularly when there is human reward.  Oh I am stupid.  I know that God’s reward is far greater.  But I do it time and again.

My hope in today’s verse, is that I am not alone.  For 2000 years this has been an issue.  I need God’s grace and forgiveness, just like everyone who has come before me.

Father,

I am a sinner.  I have disregarded you and your commandments more times than I can count.  Help me to fix my eyes on you.  Help me fix my eyes on the reward in heaven.  Help me to live as you want — not as the human world rewards.  Help me to cling no more to human traditions and human ways.  Help me put my heart into my prayers and into following you so they are not just words on my lips.  I need your grace.  I need your forgiveness.  Forgive me, Father.